Parsing Vocabulary - Completely Finished

I plan to focus my blog entries primarily on original material - I'm told "I'm full of it" - but I found the following funny and wanted to share.  It hits on themes I like to explore - language, relationships, humor - and at this point in my blogging life, any entry is better than none at all.

I don't know if there is any truth to this little ditty, but the punchline is chuckle-worthy.  I couldn't find anything on Snopes.com to dispute it, though several details have the telltale whiff of internet urban legend.  Nevertheless, jokes are no less funny for being outright lies, so here it is... 

COMPLETE AND FINISHED

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words, Complete and Finished.  Some people say there is no difference.

[Questionable, as I can think of a couple simple differences right off the top of my head, but whatever.  Carry on]. 

In a recently held linguistic competition in London, England attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes. 

[Okay, first of all, “Recently held”?  Really?  Why not just list the year?  “Linguistic competition”?  The competition doesn’t have a name?  “Standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes”?  Come on.  “Bachelors Adventure”?  Seriously?  Is that multiple bachelors adventuring together or just one bachelor having many adventures all by his lonesome?  And then we have "Balgobin"?  Apologies to my friends from Guyana, but I cannot be the only person who reads that as 'ball-gobbler'.  Am I right?  Anyway.  Continuing].

The Question: 

How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand?

Samsundar's Answer:

“When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.”

“When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.”

“And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!”

 Photo from SmartFoxSecurity.com

In deference to my female readers, the gender roles could be reversed, but the resulting version sadly loses much of its humorous quality and takes on a far more sinister aspect. 

PS - Snopes rhymes with Swopes.  That's kinda cool, huh?  Or is that just me?  It's just me, isn't it?

Parsing Vocabulary

At some point I'll start taking this blog seriously and posting more regularly.  Until then, here's another quirky dispatch from the parenting trenches.

I asked the boys if they know why they have today off of school.  Who was this holiday in honor of?

Aidan answered, "It's Veterinarian's Day".

"No," Asher cut in to correct his brother before I could, "Today is for Vegetarians."

It's funny how being close can sometimes be so far off.

I explained what a veteran is and why they matter.  I explained how they have been so important to the history and future of our nation that Americans sets aside a national holiday, Veterans Day, specifically to remember and honor all the current and past veterans of our nation's armed forces.  I shared a little about the role veterans have played in defending our way of life and upholding the values of our nation; about their service and sacrifice. 

Aidan has recently studied the American Revolution in school, so I think he had a better understanding of it all, but it may be awhile before they come to appreciate Veterans Day as more than a day off from school.  At least they know we aren't celebrating plant-eating animal doctors... unless, of course, there are some plant-eating animal doctors who served in the US armed forces.